Today's Thought Journal

A second mom of mine gave me a little notebook a month ago and I've wanted to carry it around to write thoughts in. I didn't have real desire to until a myspace pal of mine wrote a blog based off of what she wrote in her little notebook that day. I enjoyed the blog, so today I carried around my little notebook.

Thought 1. Sprinklers are like jumpropes. I time it to walk past at just the right instance, like jumping into a jumprope just right, but it somehow catches me almost every time.

Thought 2. Boys are jerks. A friend of mine met a boy a week ago. They played almost every day this week and had a lot of fun and she was really starting to like him. Then last night while 80's dancing together, he madeout with some girl. Not my friend. Boys are jerks.

Thought 3. Girls and tight pants. Either it works or it doesn't. If it does work, it works really well, like for the girl with the pretty hair I saw today. But when it doesn't work, she either looks like a man from behind, like the girl in the blue and white stripped shirt I saw today, or she looks like a clown with feet far too large for her body, like the girl in the grey jacket I saw today.

Thought 4. This morning it was raining. It was perfect rain. I was so satisfied. Then I got to physics.

Thought 5. What if I am living on this earth multiple times in the same instance? What if I'm reborn every 10 or 15 years? No one would remember the previous me, even if I did live in the same area the current me lives in. It would be too long ago. Or I'd just look like my "Aunt Sherry" or something, but really Aunt Sherry is me! What if I'm alive at the age of 3, 18, 33, 48, 63, 78, and 93?!? And all my previous me's experienced the same things as me. Maybe different people and places, but same emotions and life-changing events. I probably look different at each age. I bet my 33 year old me didn't have my glasses or hair when I was 18. But think. I lived in every decade. That would make things much easier for God- his population only being the same poeple replicated every 15 years. Still a lot of people to watch over, mind you, but a little easier. And the dead me's are my guardian angels! Even if I did run into one of me, like the 33 year old, I wouldn't recognize myself. I might find our personalities are similar, but I'd be more mature in look and personality than me so neither would recognize each other. Crazy!

Thought 6. I bet Sheryl Crow really uses loads of toilet paper.

Thought 7. I hate wasting an entire new line of paper for one or two words that wouldn't fit onto the previous line. I either erase the last 5 or so words and write them even smaller, start writing sideways along the edge of the paper, or just squish the last word so much I can't even read it.

Thought 8. I am afraid I am going to snap. I don't know what that snap will do to me, maybe just some kind of emotional breakdown or something, but I feel it's presence in my future. I feel pressure fom myself, my parents, my family, my once friend, and my school. I want to keep my scholarship, but that requires a 3.9 this semester. I don't get physics. Or Calculus sometimes. I thought I was good at math. My brain is failing me, and I'm afraid of failing. I don't want to lose my scholarship. It will put pressure on my parents. I am afraid. I don't feel very much support. I feel very unstable and vulnerable, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. But acknowledging that is a step I suppose.

Thought 9. I wish I took Creative Writing for 3 years in High School. But I took zero years. I wish I took debate my whole life. But I took zero years. I wish I took Drafting all through High School. But I took zero years. I wish I took 3 years of math in High School. But I took 2 years. I wish I took year and years of Art. But I took much less than that.

Thought 10. No regrets.

Thought 11. I've noticed that fat kids don't ride bikes around campus, neither do they skateboard. This means one of two things. 1. Skateboarding and bike riding is good exercise and keep the doers thin. or 2. Fat kids are physically unable to skateboard or bike.

Thought 12. How did college students at the University of Utah cross Wasatch Drive before the Legacy Bridge was built in 2002? Did they have to stop traffic with a crosswalk light? What a nuisance. Why did they not think of a bridge earlier? Wierdies.

Thought 13. I don't know anyone on campus, so why should I care if someone see's me pick my nose? I had at it for probably 6 seconds. It was the longest I've picked my nose in public. Then I looked up and saw a boy I know. He waved. I think he saw me. For 6 whole seconds.

Thought 14. I have come to the conclusion that navigating a skateboard through hundreds of students on a sidewalk is harder than navigating a longboard through hundreds of students on a sidewalk.

Thought 15. Riding either a skateboard or longboard over the thump-thump thump-thumps of the sidewalk would not be fun on a full bladder.

Thought 16. There seems to be some kind of a power struggle between my Calculus teacher and myself.

Thought 17. I have a rainbow colored backpack with a unicorn on it and purple glasses. I wonder how many people have thought I'm a lesbian.

Thought 18. I think my Calculus teacher might have a crush on me.

Thought 19. Today I saw an under-cover cop in a mini-van. Welcome to Utah.