Rant for Respect

I'm trying to lucid dream. I checked out a book from the library called Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming by Stephen LaBerge and Howard Rheingold. It's teaching me how to lucid dream. I've yet to have one. But I'll get there. I feel very close :)

Sometimes if I'm holding my foot weird my arch will start to cramp up and almost do a charley horse, but I can move my foot before it happens. I've never had a full on charley horse. Then last night happened. I woke up and almost yelled/screamed in pain and I'm not a screaming in pain type of person. It was like my calf muscle was being squeezed between two planks or something. I can't describe it. It was the worse muscle cramp I've ever had. I couldn't move my leg. I had to just curl up and fall back asleep. I learned that I should have massaged it out. It was super sore today because of it. Seriously the weirdest thing, being woken up by that. Word is I should eat more bananas. Or drink more water. Or do a headstand before bed each night. Or touch my nose then jump three times then say magic 5 times then get in bed all in 4 seconds.

The following paragraphs are one continuous thought but for easier reading I'm breaking them up. Prepare yourself for my rant. They're rare.

So I'm getting a little annoyed. I don't usually get annoyed. I am a pretty relaxed person when it comes to getting along with people, even if they are crazy. But when it comes to the point where I feel like strangling someone I think I should do something about it, eh? My roommate Kylie is driving me insane. We are so opposite of each other it's almost funny. But it's not because she's so irritating. She does not understand that I love more than anything going to concerts and going to gallery strolls and to the library and to film festivals and such. I may leave my dorm alone on the weekends and sometimes spend the whole night alone, but I am completely satisfied with that. I often meet up with people I know and love to be with either by coincidence or on purpose, but if I don't, I don't care one bit. I love doing things by myself too. I've learned enough about myself in the past few months that I can keep myself entertained for days and days. She doesn't understand this at all. A weekend to Provo to go to a concert and to stay overnight with my sister is one of the most fun things I can do, but when she hears my plans for the weekend she says, "Jessie.. You're killing me.." And she's for real. It's literally painful for her to see what I do for fun.

There's a concert on Thursday at Kilby Court. It's Seve vs. Evan. I've seen them plenty, but a few fun friends are going to be there and it will be a great great dance party. I'd rather go to this than almost anything on Valentine's Night because it's a terrible holiday, but the girls are going to dinner. Kylie and her bf Tyler, Kristen, Chelsea and her friend Brett from down the hall, maybe a kid named Grant and a girl, etc.. they're all going to dinner. But I don't really want to go. Sure they're great, but combined, they just aren't the group of people I want to be seen with, honestly. This group is like the people form high school that you were so different from that you wouldn't even acknowledge them at the grocery store when only 2 of you were walking down the isle. I'm totally the odd one out. I don't mind, but I'd rather be doing something else with other people. I love Chelsea, my room roommate. I could spend hours with her, but she fits in with the group much better than me. Anyways, today right before we went to workout, Kylie said, "Jessie, you can't come to the gym with us unless you come to dinner Thursday." I said "No deal." I just wish she'd understand that the things she finds super fun I find super lame.

I'm perfectly okay with her hating my DI clothes, my weird hair, (oh, that's another thing. She always gives her opinion on my hair. Always. Today she said, "Jessie, you know how your hair is this length but choppy and layery? I think you should grow it out longer but keep it layery and choppy." She has commented on what she thinks I should do with my hair so much that I don't even respond to it anymore. I look at her while she talking but don't comment back and she doesn't think twice about that) my weird outfits, my odd music, whateva. I don't care that she disagrees with everything I am, but she has no room to try to change me. I am her opposite in almost everything. We really don't have anything in common. She's very "my way or the highway" style. And I refuse to do anything her way. Not just because I'm stubborn and rebellious like that, but also because her way is completely repulsive in all ways. I would bring this up with her, but honestly it would not change a thing. I'm very lucky to have Chelsea as a roommate. We have opposite views on PLENTY of things, but we respect each other enough to not care at all in the end. It's so great.

The weirdest thing about this is that I rarely get mad. I've been mad at my little brother a couple times and my parents a few times, but I'm over it very quickly. I don't hold onto things. So for me to actually be frustrated by someone is saying something. That's how bad it is. I guess what it boils down to is respect. If she would respect me enough to leave me alone I'd really, really appreciate it and probably genuinely respect her for that. Jeez. Girls are dramatic. I'm such a girl.

I like being busy.
I don't like being poor.
I like school.
I don't like Charlie horses.
I like getting to know new people.
I don't like being tied down by anyone.
I like freedom.
I don't like roller-skate blisters.
I like gauged ears. Sometimes.
I don't like any other facial piercing.
Except nose.. jewels? dots? I like nose dots.
I don't like girls.
I like boys.
I don't like dermographic urticaria.
I like chocolate fountains and pineapples.

The end shmend.