Sporadic Thoughts

The Human body kind of grosses me out. Eating is gross. Drinking is ok, especially through a straw. But eating is disgusting. So is digestion and excretion. Bleh. Gross. I just hate watching people eat. I've seen very few people who are proper enough with food to not have it bother me. I bother me. I talk with food in my mouth, my face gets messy, etc. But I don't care. I only care that other people look not disgusting. Sex is gross, sweating is gross, zits are gross, drool is gross, leg hair and armpit hair is gross. Why can't we be made of metal or something?

Worst invention ever = the 3 in one handwasher/dryer found in the bathrooms down that hall. I insert my hands into the cave in the wall and soap squirts into my hands. Immediatly water comes exploding out, soaking the entire front of me for a good 10 to 12 seconds no matter how hard I try not to get wet, then the water turns off and the air comes on, but 70% of the time I still have soap on my hands. I have to put my hands into the cave next-door and dodge the soap then finish rinsing my hands, then I go back to the first cave til the dryer turns off then back to the second until it also turns off. My hands aren't even always dry. And there are no paper towels in there. Stupid, stupid invention.

Every time I miss a train or a bus, I have the odd feeling it doesn't exist. It only exists when I am involved. This is a very young, developing thought/idea so I am not going to expand quite yet.

Also, I started defining the term and group of people known as Indie yesterday. And I like what I have so far. This is also still developing so I'll save it for later.

I slept for probably 60-65% of Physics this morning. It gave me a headache because I slept awkwardly. I still felt like it was better to be there, sleeping, than to not be there at all.

I might go to France now. Instead of Italy. Because I don't know Italian. I'm excited and scared and anxious and nervous and worried but mostly excited.

I learned yesterday in ASL that the deaf culture is very blunt. I think the hearing culture should be more like that. It's probably healthy. When a hearing person sees an overweight person, we say, she's a little on the large side, or she's big for her age, or she's somewhat overweight, etc. When a deaf person sees an overweight person, he/she says, she's fat. It's a fact. There is no beating around the bush. Another example my teacher shared, He works somewhere with deaf people, and one day someone came in (I'm not sure if this person was deaf or hearing) and had a giant tooth or big gums or something very odd and noticible with his/her mouth. As this person assoiciated with hearing people, no one mentioned it. The first deaf person who talked to him/her though, immediatly said (or signed) "What's wrong with your mouth?"

It's amazing how we all have 2 eyes, a forehead, a nose, 2 nostrils, a mouth, teeth, cheeks, a chin, a jaw, and two ears, but everyone looks different. It's crazy! Blows my mind, really.

Ever since that nap in physics there has been a spot in my heart that hurts when I inhale really deeply. I feel like if I could inhale further it would pop, but I can't. It's physically impossible. Frustrating.

I think I'm done now. Thanks for listening.

Love Jessie