I'm a hopeless romantic.

I like to imagine that someone is as creepy as me, somewhere out there. I like to pretend that someone went home one day and pulled out the yearbook and looked through the entire grade to figure out what my name was. Then looked for me every day in the commons. Or asked someone, pointing, “Who is that girl over there?” “Oh that’s Jessie Gilmore. She’s pretty cool.” I like to pretend someone stalked my myspace and found out where I lived and walked past my door. Or would drive the long way home just to drive past my house. Or would sit outside in the shadows across the street and watch my light come on then see me close the window and pull down the blinds then twist them shut. And they’d think about the fact that I didn’t know they existed or that they had a crush on me. And they’d see me around, walking with my face in a book or talking on the phone or laughing with a friend and I wouldn’t notice them but they’d take in everything about me. I like to imagine there is someone out there as creepy as me.

It’s hard being completely in love with someone and not knowing what the future has in store. But it’s nice knowing that –as my brother put it – whoever I marry, I will love just as much if not more than anyone I’ve loved thus far. And if I don’t, I won’t marry him. Simple as that.