Influences from a best friend

I have a best friend. His name is Sam. He changed my life.

1. Eye contact. I used to feel like people were able to read my mind if I kept eye contact too long, like all my deepest darkest secrets were written on the back wall of my eyeballs. But now I realize that’s not true. The truth is I can read minds when I keep eye contact. Sam taught me this. Plus I think it shows power. And sincerity. I’m pleased with my eye-contact improvement.

2. Details details details. Not yet as extreme as Sam’s note of detail, but more than my B.S. (before Sam) years. This is detail in everything. Me, my hair (mostly the way my bangs lay because he was ocd about his own bangs/hair), my face, my clothes, my posture, my eyes, boys, their hair, their posture, their shoes, their jeans, their teeth, their nose, their walk, pictures on walls (I’ve always been ocd with this, but he encouraged it), organizing stuff that doesn’t really need to be organized, the list goes on and on.

3. Language. I thought that Sam’s great grammar had rubbed off on me and was finally showing through when I moved away, but the truth is this: at home I was always in his shadow, even when I did use big ish words, he already knew what it meant and how would correct my usage, but now alone in the world I don’t have anyone to tell me I’m saying things wrong, and I don’t have many people using words that I don’t know yet. He’s way too advanced for his own good.

4. Jealousy. I used to be pretty laid back and okay with anything in by B.S. days. Sure if my crush was flirting with someone else I’d feel jealous, not to would be unnatural. But in the A.S. days have I felt physically sick due to missing/being jealous over/thinking about someone. Not telling who that someone is. :P I definitely learned that one from Sam.

5. Music. I like more music now. I appreciate more music now. And I go to concerts now. And I’m better at name that tune. And my itunes is twice as big. Sam.

6. I care about things that I should care about. Things in the newspaper. Both Sam and his parents and John and our parents get credit for this one. I just wish I had known that I cared when knowledge was more easily accessible. Plus Sam like, scoffs at me now when I ask about something that I want to know more about. He says, when did you start caring about things like this? What, am I supposed to go forever as the less educated one? I’ll be smarter than him, someday.

7. High Expectations. I’ve always been a perfectionist in certain ways, but Sam made me expect more of myself intellectually. He helped me realize I could go big for college or my future. Bigger than I might have. And I have big goals and big dreams and I know I can reach them if I try hard enough. I think Sam and his parents instilled this in me a little, through support and encouragement, where my family is too sarcastic for this type of thinking. In a way. I love the Cheney family so much. What a blessed (pronounced bless ed. 2 syllables) family.

8. Competition. I’ve always been competitive, but I had never before dated someone that was just as if not more competitive than me. I would be so angry when Sam would beat me home from school that he had to let me win if he wanted to have me talk to him during the first hour after school. So sometimes this competition is a bad thing, but more than not it is great. I’m more competitive with my opinions, which help morph them into more mature ideas. I’m more competitive with my grades- haha one of my main motivations for studying for a test is to beat the kid that got a better score on me last time. And hey, it gets me the grade. I think this competitiveness will come in handy when/if I am in the architecture program competing for one of the 45 graduating class spots.

9. Respect. He’s a people pleaser. He can win the respect of anyone by being himself. He’s courteous, polite, attentive, mature, honest, and just very classy in appearance and action. I’ve learned that when I throw this kind of etiquette into relationships with anyone, roommates, floor friends, cafeteria workers, professors, bus drivers, etc, I get much of that respect back. I’m trying to treat people like they are above me. My family is very sarcastic and funny, sometimes rude, or so it appears to outsiders, and I have become a very sarcastic and sometimes rude person, if I don’t remind myself regularly to be more polite even to good friends. Even to shuttle bus drivers I say thank you every time I get off and say hello when I get on and don’t act like I’m better than them by not acknowledging them like some of the students do. Sam always said thank you. It rubbed off on me and it’s great. What wonderful words, really. I love saying them.

To be continued. Maybe.