Time is of the Essence

Today, time is not of the essence. If anything, the rain and my body is telling me to ignore time today.

Draft autosaved at 9:31 AM

My two hours of sleep last night were choppy, disjointed. I was completely out but my dreams related everything I have experienced this weekend in one long, bizarre story. I felt awake the whole time.

Draft autosaved at 9:35 AM

I struggled to type a name into my phone, it kept changing.

Draft autosaved at 9:39 AM

A boy bragged about a PC as he pulled multiple bags of square caramels from his backpack, digging for something. A scary looking girl sat staring at me, wearing a grey shirt and grey eyes, drained looking, sick, close to death or maybe just returning from it. She said nothing, just continued staring as I looked at her. She had big eyes, eyes that were trying to tell me something but I walked away, I had to. I was trying to get somewhere.

Draft autosaved at 9:42 AM

I was trying to help someone. It was impossible, something kept getting in the way. I was frustrated.

Draft autosaved at 9:43 AM

I am still dreaming. Time moves awkwardly. There is consistency in the music on my ears. But even it is different: not calming, just keeping me from rocking back and forth and talking to myself. There is consistency in the knot in my back along my left shoulder blade. !?!???!!! As I typed 'blade,' Sufjan Stevens sung to me, "when the light pressed up against your shoulder blade." I never woke up today because I hardly went to sleep.

Draft autosaved at 9:47 AM

My lungs feel like collapsing. They want to, I'm not letting them. My heart is tired and doesn't enjoy pumping today, but my muscles aren't letting it stop, only slow down.

Draft autosaved at 9:48 AM

I am aware of people around me. Sort of. They exist, I see them, but they aren't alive today. They are merely around. If they weren't sitting around me, I would think something is wrong. Nothing is wrong, so they are sitting around me. But they aren't very important today. My energy isn't bouncing off of them back to me. It is bouncing off my skin, back into my body, collecting as a strange knot in my abdomen.

Draft autosaved at 9:50 AM

I think I feel like throwing up. I just took a deep breath. I think I forgot to keep breathing for the last few minutes. My automatic physical processes aren't being very automatic today.

Draft autosaved at 9:58 AM

Time is of the essence.