Thoughts of 9.13.7

(written 9.13.7)

I slept through institute this morning. I get so mad at myself when things like that happen. I feel like a failure and just lie back down, even if I could hurry and make the last half. I just don't like being late to things. I am proud of myself for wanting to go to institute though. At least I feel bad about missing it.

Music still amazes me. What is does to my mood is crazy! Today at the Union a bunch of local bands played all day, including Kid Theodore. I have so much fun watching them play. Their music is great. I was so happy and satisfied with life. A few high school friends saw me at sat with me and we all just lauged and had so much fun. I didn't care about anything in the world. I didn't even remember I was starving until they had stopped playing. Then I heard another band I enjoyed called good morning maxfield. They made me happy too, but no one was there and I wanted more people to hear them.

I need an Ipod. Carrying a cd player around is just hard. I have to keep it in my hands or else it skips. And sometimes I have the urge to listen to a certain song but I only have that one cd with me, or I don't even have that certain song on cd, only on my computer. :(

The battle between walking everywhere and taking the shuttle is getting more heated daily. I love walking to watch people and see things and hear things and for the exercise, but time is becoming more and more valuable. It takes me about 22 minutes to get from my room to my furthest class. I used to walk home when I had the time to in between classes, but now I just carry a heavier backpack and stay down on campus all day. I love it, but by the end of the day by back is tired and the shuttle is so tempting. I just keep refusing to take it though. Once I start walking it's no big deal, but when I stop and stand looking in the direction of the shuttle stop I can hardly keep myself from walking to it. It this strange personal battle I have to win by not riding it, but I know eventually it will be the smarter thing to do.

I just had an interesting conversation with 2 people. I'll write it in a different blog.

I laughed out loud yesterday when older men, probably professors, jogged by me on campus. As they passed, one said to another, "How many pounds of styrofoam can you fit in your car?"

My teeth hurt. I have braces. They keep boys away.

I feel like I lost like 50 shirts in the process of moving from home to college.

I want to play lacrosse so bad right now. The boys have already started practicing! Why have we not even held tryouts yet?!? I want an Ipod. I want a mac computer. I want A's in all my classes. I want to study in Italy next year. I want to find some really cool friends that aren't too clingy or needy. I want to read more. I want to eat healthier. I want to drink more. I want to take my vitamins regularly. I want to learn sign language faster. I want to get rid of my cell phone. I want to understand physics. I want to invent something. I want to suck up to all my teachers. I want to be an astronaut so so bad. I want to reach every goal I set. I want to win a million dollars. I want to know everything. I want to pass guitar hero on expert. I want to learn to play the harmonica. I want to delete a bunch of numbers from my phone. I want to see what heaven is like. I want to rid myself of pointless friendships and strengthen the important ones. I want to go for a run. I want to pass my test tomorrow.

It's hard for me to picture my future. Not even 2 years in the future. Right now everything is changing.

I'd rather skip my physics class tomorrow than go unprepared for the test. Being knowingly and willingly unprepared is a sickening feeling. I'd rather study right now than skip my physics class tomorrow. I hate missing class.