Some Light Thoughts 9.4.7

(written 9.4.7)

I have lots and lots of thoughts at this moment. So many I can hardly function. So I'm going to type them now, even though they aren't very blog worthy or of literary note. I just don't feel like writing well right now. I just want to type. I've come to love typing. It's so so fun letting my fingers just fly around. I love it.


I listened to Ok Ikumi today as I walked to the bookstore and then to Walmart. That music, along with the Amazing storm that came within about 15 minutes, made it impossible for me to keep a straight face. I kept giggling. Outloud! It was so so strange. I could not hold in how happy I was. And it was nothing but the weather and that music that made me so happy. The entire time to Walmart and back I just sat and tapped my foot or bobbed my head or just smiled. It was the happiest I've been in a few weeks.

I'm LDS, and the majority of the people here at the University of Utah are not. Most of my friends on my floor know I am LDS, but I still have trouble standing up for my values. I haven't participated in anything against my standards, but I haven't really made the stand I really want to make. For example. Most people here swear all the time. And I mean all the time. It will be hard to find friends who don't swear. I've accepted that fact and just ignore the language, but I can't say it doesn't bother me. Part of me wants to say, "Hey, remember how I'm mormon? Well I don't like swearing. Will you try not to cus in front of me?" But I think people would stop inviting me to play because I was practically asking them to be mute. Some people I'm around more often notice that I don't use any swear words and have started cleaning up their language around me. I appreciate it a lot. I just struggle with asking them to clean it up. Another example: I don't watch R movies, even though plenty of LDS members do. I just honestly don't enjoy them and usually don't have the desire to watch. In movies, I'm not a fan of offensive language, offensive sex, offensive violence, or whatever else movies are R for. Just now, some kids on my floor said, "Come watch Garden State in the lounge!" Instead of saying, "I'm mormon remember? I don't watch R movies!" I just said, "I think I'll pass. I don't feel like watching a movie, and I need to go to bed early nonight." Had I said I don't watch R movies, I would not have to deal with another time of being asked to watch one. They'd know I don't do that. I want to change this about me.

I was winked at today. It was fun. I was on my way to the bookstore to get a trax pass. I looked at a biker as he came close. He was looking at me, so I looked down. I looked back up again, and he was still looking at me. Or looking at me again. So I looked away again. I looked back a third time! I know, the three time glance. It's huge. And of course, he was still looking at me. Tee hee. He was on the phone, but just before he passed me, he smiled and winked at me, and I laughed smiled. It was fun and funny.

I broke my toe about 6 years ago. I broke the bone inside of my foot, not in the actual little toe. I was supposed to wear a blue shoe for about 6 weeks is all I think. The shoe is made for both feet, so no matter what foot I had it on it looked wrong. I was embarrassed by it. Plus, after about 3 or so weeks, I had girls camp. I didn't want to be wearing a little blue shoe at girls camp. So I didn't wear it to camp, or for the weeks following. It felt fine. I had escaped an extra 3 weeks of wearing an embarrassing shoe. Over the next 6 years, my foot would randomly ache for a few hours. Nothing too long or painful though. Now that I'm walking miles every day at college, I can feel that something is still wrong with my toe. It hurts almost constantly if I'm wearing flip flops. I don't want to stop walking, but I also like flip flops. I wish now that I had worn that embarrassing shoe for 3 more weeks.

I have an ortho appointment tomorrow. What color elastics should I get? Hm...

Speaking of braces, I hate them.
1. I am afraid to smile at boys when cute ones look at me because I don't want them to flinch when the see my smile. Tee hee. Honest thought.
2. If I'm ever talking to someone directly after eating, I'm so paranoid there is something in my teeth that I sometimes don't open my lips very much when talking. It's really awkward and funny feeling so I'm sure it's funny looking.
3. I was wrestled to the ground the other day, and my mouth kept bumping things like my knee or the floor or what have you, and by the end, parts of my lips were like raw hamburger. Gross. And painful.
4. It always looks like there are oreos in my mouth. Even when I have light blue elastics.

I got 19.25 out of 20 on my Physics assignment today! YES!

I didn't have time to get ready this morning, so I put my hair in pigtails, put on mascara (the extent of makeup I wear these days), and wore a white t-shirt and black soccer shorts all day. Oddly enough, more people smiled and looked at me than I've noticed before. And I do notice those types of things, because I like smiling and looking at other people. As Megan C. said in one of her blogs, it's annoying when girls say things like, "I didn't even get ready this morning, and I already had three guys hit on me in my first class." That's why I was almost mad that more people, including boys, looked at me and smiled at me and double looked at me and said hello to me than usual. Because I looked worse today than I have the past 2.5 weeks. It makes me want to never get ready again. Dumb.

That's all for now. I just had to get a few thoughts out before I could peacefully read Harry Potter 7 and watch an episode of Arrested Development before I turn out the lights.

Goodnight.